I remember waking up in darkness, my chest aching with a dull but constant throb. Images and shades of emotions flooding back to me. Rage, anger, a piece of wood in my chest. I'd been staked.
Surveying the room brought me no results, the room was roughly twenty by twenty and covered in shadow. The only source of light was a pane that revealed another room, all white with a table in the center, the only darkness in that room were from the table and chairs. The pane was just that, a pane. There was no door, no crease, no entry that I could tell. I remember tapping into my blood, flooding my body with strength. The my hands crashed against the material of the pane, but it didn't break, it didn't even crack. I remembered my hands banging against the walls, clearly made of some matte black metal. Banging became fevered screaming, then a resigned form on the floor, slunk beneath the light.
That's when I heard the laughing.
Even with the nightvision of my bloodline to aid me, I couldn't make out his shape. A brief second, which felt like forever, and I didn't have to. I knew who it was. The last I had seen of my Avus and former mentor was in the burning wreckage of an apartment building more than fifty years ago, his body pinned under rubble as I left him to die.
It apparently didn't hold.
Destler, the man who taught me to be a Khaibit. Clan Mekhet calls themselves 'shadows', Khaibit are a part of that Clan that make it literal.
I could hear him smile when I recognized him. "Dear Owen. Even in that burning hovel, as my Beast screamed in abject terror, did I feel nothing but pride for you. The rate of eagerness you sought to supplant me was truly astounding, but considering that clutch of backstabbers and pale shadows that sired you, it should have been expected."
Rage filled me. Family is everything. But he was baiting me, he always baited me. He had a point to make.
He didn't answer when I called him out on it, he didn't say anything. A living shadow stood in the room with me, his form motionless. "Owen," he said. As I look back on it, I remember hearing the disappointment in his voice. "Look at you. Look at what they've done to you. They've made you like them. They've made you weak, They--"
I didn't hear what he had to say next, it was
probably demeaning any way. I remember putting strength into my hand and
cutting my palm with my nails. One of the more basic spells I learned can
freeze the Vitae, the power within the life's blood that animates the Kindred
to the living dead. I felt the ritual hold and release
And it hit nothing.
Destler was already on top of me. He was always faster than me, always. I felt the darkness grab me and shove me against the wall.
"You arrogant child," he barked. "Never presume to try that again." His voice softened, "You've squandered what you could be for what? For the peasant magic your family treasures? You'd trade the power of the shades for hedge rituals and backwater spells? For what? 'Owen, go do this'? 'Owen, take me there'? 'Owen, hide this body'? 'Owen, build us this hotel'?
That last one was my idea, actually. I was proud of it at the time, and of Raina, my Ghoul, who legally owned the whole thing in mine and my family's name. Dear Raina, sweet Raina.
"They're wasting you, child," he said bleakly. "The Khaibit are servants, but we're not slaves. Your abilities are wasted serving their House."
I'm also a member of that House. The Asteria explored the past, present and future, as a Khabit I dedicated myself to serving them. I told Destler as much.
He didn't seem impressed, if anything he was sadder, "That may make things all the more tragic. A Khaibit servitor is an honor and they're treating you as a nanny for lechers and madwomen. That is not befitting a Khaibit, that's befitting a neonate too dumb to know anything!"
His voice raised, and I suddenly found myself slammed against the floor. Vampires are notorious for being hard to kill. Shooting us does as much damage as hitting us with a ballbat, and we heal fast too. Also, we don't feel the same way. Oh we feel love and anger, but those are echoes of our mortal selves. Pain exists the same way. My back told me it as in pain, all of it. It was a cold, calculated fact that did nothing to actually help me.
Nor was the heel of his shoe, that he immediately shoved into my right shoulder. He was just as strong as I was, maybe stronger. If he pressed harder, there was nothing to say he couldn't step clean through my body mass.
"You're lost," he said. "You're lost and you don't even know it. There was an edge to your words, a threat, a danger. Your sire named you well, 'Monster'. You were all the things that made you worthy of being my heir."
I remember rasping, "I'm not your heir?"
He smiled. I remember seeing a smile. He had no face in the darkness but I remember he smiled. "Oh, but you are. While the French Woman gave you the Embrace, and the Old Crones taught you their plebian ways. You may bear the name 'Asteria' and your blood sings in their blood but you, Owen Lean, when the night falls and the shadows are your only companions, you are mine."
I lay there numbly. Part of me waited, crouched in the back of my mind for the opening to strike. But the part of me that knew better realized that Destler knew me better than I did. He had watched me, apparently for a while. I was trapped, and I accepted it, and I hated myself for it.
I asked him what he wanted. I remember the taste of defeat in my mouth, like ashes and old coins.
"I want to remind you of what you were, of what you are. Owen," he said my name pleadingly, as if he was trying to prove the point. "I've come back to complete your training, to make you the Khaibit that you should be instead of the servant that you are." He released his foot and walked back to the wall with the window pane. I crawled, crawled, away from him, seeking the safety of distance and a solid wall.
"You'll thank me when this is over," he said. "You'll thank me for making you what you truly are."
I asked him: what was I?
He stepped past the panel. I expected to see the face of the man I had once considered a mentor, a teacher. I saw nothing, nothing but darkness where a face should be. "You're like me, just a shadow on the wall." He paused and looked behind him. "Your training begins tomorrow. The task is simple: learn to leave this cell. Learn to step through the shadows. You will feed only when you need to be fed."
I asked him what would happen if I refused.
He shrugged, "Then you will know these walls with an intimacy that borders the Gangrels love of dirt." With that, he vanished. There was silence in the room at first, and I prayed to Erebus for that. Then his form, still a mass of shadow, appeared behind the window pane. His voice piped in through a speaker somewhere in the room.
"Tonight, we will begin where we left off. " I started to realize there was a sound behind him as he spoke. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't on his PA, it was in the room with me. A hissing sound, like a python hissing without taking a breath. I knew, without any doubt in my mind, what was about to happen. I hugged the wall intently.
"You left me to die in a fire, screaming in the midst of the Red Fear," he said, his voice becoming hard and unyielding. "I would like to share the experience with you."
Little balefire lights formed throughout the room, each one three feet away from each other on the floor and walls. I was stuck in the middle of two. I already felt the beast within me recoil.
I don't remember the fire igniting. I don't remember the plumes of flame spurting from the floors of my twenty by twenty hell. I don't remember if Destler stayed to watch. I just remembered sitting there, cradling myself as I screamed for my life.
That was my first night of training
And it hit nothing.
Destler was already on top of me. He was always faster than me, always. I felt the darkness grab me and shove me against the wall.
"You arrogant child," he barked. "Never presume to try that again." His voice softened, "You've squandered what you could be for what? For the peasant magic your family treasures? You'd trade the power of the shades for hedge rituals and backwater spells? For what? 'Owen, go do this'? 'Owen, take me there'? 'Owen, hide this body'? 'Owen, build us this hotel'?
That last one was my idea, actually. I was proud of it at the time, and of Raina, my Ghoul, who legally owned the whole thing in mine and my family's name. Dear Raina, sweet Raina.
"They're wasting you, child," he said bleakly. "The Khaibit are servants, but we're not slaves. Your abilities are wasted serving their House."
I'm also a member of that House. The Asteria explored the past, present and future, as a Khabit I dedicated myself to serving them. I told Destler as much.
He didn't seem impressed, if anything he was sadder, "That may make things all the more tragic. A Khaibit servitor is an honor and they're treating you as a nanny for lechers and madwomen. That is not befitting a Khaibit, that's befitting a neonate too dumb to know anything!"
His voice raised, and I suddenly found myself slammed against the floor. Vampires are notorious for being hard to kill. Shooting us does as much damage as hitting us with a ballbat, and we heal fast too. Also, we don't feel the same way. Oh we feel love and anger, but those are echoes of our mortal selves. Pain exists the same way. My back told me it as in pain, all of it. It was a cold, calculated fact that did nothing to actually help me.
Nor was the heel of his shoe, that he immediately shoved into my right shoulder. He was just as strong as I was, maybe stronger. If he pressed harder, there was nothing to say he couldn't step clean through my body mass.
"You're lost," he said. "You're lost and you don't even know it. There was an edge to your words, a threat, a danger. Your sire named you well, 'Monster'. You were all the things that made you worthy of being my heir."
I remember rasping, "I'm not your heir?"
He smiled. I remember seeing a smile. He had no face in the darkness but I remember he smiled. "Oh, but you are. While the French Woman gave you the Embrace, and the Old Crones taught you their plebian ways. You may bear the name 'Asteria' and your blood sings in their blood but you, Owen Lean, when the night falls and the shadows are your only companions, you are mine."
I lay there numbly. Part of me waited, crouched in the back of my mind for the opening to strike. But the part of me that knew better realized that Destler knew me better than I did. He had watched me, apparently for a while. I was trapped, and I accepted it, and I hated myself for it.
I asked him what he wanted. I remember the taste of defeat in my mouth, like ashes and old coins.
"I want to remind you of what you were, of what you are. Owen," he said my name pleadingly, as if he was trying to prove the point. "I've come back to complete your training, to make you the Khaibit that you should be instead of the servant that you are." He released his foot and walked back to the wall with the window pane. I crawled, crawled, away from him, seeking the safety of distance and a solid wall.
"You'll thank me when this is over," he said. "You'll thank me for making you what you truly are."
I asked him: what was I?
He stepped past the panel. I expected to see the face of the man I had once considered a mentor, a teacher. I saw nothing, nothing but darkness where a face should be. "You're like me, just a shadow on the wall." He paused and looked behind him. "Your training begins tomorrow. The task is simple: learn to leave this cell. Learn to step through the shadows. You will feed only when you need to be fed."
I asked him what would happen if I refused.
He shrugged, "Then you will know these walls with an intimacy that borders the Gangrels love of dirt." With that, he vanished. There was silence in the room at first, and I prayed to Erebus for that. Then his form, still a mass of shadow, appeared behind the window pane. His voice piped in through a speaker somewhere in the room.
"Tonight, we will begin where we left off. " I started to realize there was a sound behind him as he spoke. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't on his PA, it was in the room with me. A hissing sound, like a python hissing without taking a breath. I knew, without any doubt in my mind, what was about to happen. I hugged the wall intently.
"You left me to die in a fire, screaming in the midst of the Red Fear," he said, his voice becoming hard and unyielding. "I would like to share the experience with you."
Little balefire lights formed throughout the room, each one three feet away from each other on the floor and walls. I was stuck in the middle of two. I already felt the beast within me recoil.
I don't remember the fire igniting. I don't remember the plumes of flame spurting from the floors of my twenty by twenty hell. I don't remember if Destler stayed to watch. I just remembered sitting there, cradling myself as I screamed for my life.
That was my first night of training